Life without a lenscap

• 5 or 6 peppers or so.
• 2 or 3 scallions
• 4 shallots
• 4 or 5 portobello mushrooms
• 1 wedge o' romaine lettuce
• 2.5 tomatoes
• 1/2 a yellow onion
• Half-a-handful of cilantro
• 1 Lime
• 1/2 a can of black beans, or more if you want, I guess
• 2-3 cups of brown rice
• 1 jalapeno
• salt
• a lot of black pepper
• a real lot of cayenne pepper
• a real lot of chili powder
• a little onion powder
• a little garlic powder
• a little bit of oregano
• tons of olive oil
• balsamic vinegar and maybe some other kinds.
• sherry
• syrup
• cheddar jack cheese

1. Start da rice cookin' - if you're me, you have a side burner on your grill, and you'll cook it there. Don't cook it ALL the way done, just most of the way done.
2. Take 'dem shallots, and take off the part of the shell that crumbles off easily. Not the rest, 'kay? Get out that basting brush, coat them shallots with it, and throw 'em on the grill. Rotate them a few times, cook 'em 'til they're clearly done.
3. Take one of them shallots and take the shell off. You can honestly cut one of the ends off, and squeeze it, the insides will just pop out. Now chop them up, and throw them in a bowl with vinegars and a tiny bit of syrup, and the garlic powder, onion powder and a bunch of cayenne and chili powder. Mix that shit up and throw dem portobello mushrooms in for like 15 minutes. Don't leave 'em in too long, mushrooms be like sponges, yo.
4. Let's be honest, you're done with that rice, now, right? OK COOL! Throw it in a giant bowl. One that can hold all the stuffing.
5. Brush that olive oil on 2 of the tomatoes, and also, on the wedge of lettuce. Throw 'em on the grill. Use your eye and inner griller to know when they're done. For example, the tomatoes should be starting to burst really.
6. 'kay, this sounds weird, but take off the skin that's remaining on the grilled tomatoes, and then just squeeze the shit out of them over the rice, kinda tearing them apart, and adding all the edible bits. And then chop the remaining half a tomato [if you want, I'm sure you could put the whole thing in there.] Add that in there.
7. While you're chopping stuff, chop 'dem shallots, and throw them in there. Also, mince the garlic and throw it in there. Keep stirring it all up while you're adding stuff.
8. Oh shit, the mushrooms, yeah, throw them on the grill, they won't take too long to cook.
9. While that's happening, chop up the jalepeno, and throw it in. And the cilantro, yeah, that too.
10. Cut off the leafy parts of the lettuce. I don't remember what the spine part is called, maybe it's spine, but then chop up that part like it was celery and throw it in the stuffing.
11. Chop up dem mushrooms and, yup, add them to the rest.
12. Oh snap, add about half the can of black beans to the mixture - but totally get rid of the gunk when you add them. Just the beans, y'hear?
13. To the stuffing, add some salt. Black pepper, and a LOT of cayenne pepper and Chili Powder. Like. A lot. I guess maybe the best way to say this is "to taste" so, add that stuff to taste, bitches.
14. Okay, so now probably is a bad time to point out that at some point while stuff was grilling, you should have cut the tops off the peppers, and cleaned out the inside, but honestly, I'm too lazy to reorganize all the numbers.
15. Shove the stuffing in the peppers! Throw some cheese in the middle, if you're feeling kooky. I was, and it was tasty.  If not, put some sour cream and/or cheese on afterwards.
16. Now that you're jam packed full o' stuffing, lather the sides of the peppers with olive oil and throw them on the grill.
17. Cook them, rotating so each side gets grilled until they're kinda bubbly. Then, take them off the grill, and eat the shit out of them. YEAH.

( some more, now, including prep shots )

Brown Sugar BBQ Chicken

Ingredients:

• 1 lb boneless, skinless Chicken Breasts
• 1 10.75 oz Condensed Tomato Soup
• 3 Tbsp Brown Sugar
• 1 Tbsp Worcestershire Sauce
• 3/4 cup chopped onion
• 3/4 cup vinegar
• 1/2 tsp salt
• 1/4 tsp dried basil

Directions:

1. Place Chicken in slow cooker
2. Combine the rest of the ingredients in a bowl, and mix it all up, then pour them over the chicken, making sure everything is covered up right nice.
3. Cover and cook on low for 6-8 hours

Results: I love how easy this is.  I mean.  Does it get any simpler?  No.  It does not.  It didn’t taste great, though.  It wasn’t bad, just far too tangy.

Recipe from this little slow cooker circular I picked up at the book store.

Chicken Curry

• 1 Tbsp corn, grapeseed, or olive oil
• 1 medium onion, sliced
• 1/3 cup golden raisins (optional)
• Salt and freshly ground pepper
• 1 1/2 teaspoons yellow curry powder, or to taste
• 4 skinless, boneless, chicken breast halves (1 to 1 1/2 pounds)*
• 1 cup sour cream
• Minced fresh cilantro or parsley for garnish

1. Put the oil in a large skillet over medium high heat. When hot, add the onions (and optional raisins), sprinkle with some salt and pepper, and cook, stirring occasionally, until translucent, about 5 minutes. Turn the heat down to medium, sprinkle with half of the curry powder, and continue to cook a minute or two.
Meanwhile, season the chicken with salt and pepper to taste and sprinkle it with the remaining curry powder. Move the onion to one side of the skillet and add the chicken in one layer. Cook for about 2 minutes on each side. Transfer to a plate.
2. Add the sour cream and stir constantly over medium-low heat until the mixture is nice and thick. Return the chicken to the skillet and cook for a couple more minutes, or until cooked through, turning once.

guiser1's Crack N Cheese

• 1 lb. bacon, cooked crisp, crumbled
• 1 med onion, chopped
• 10 cloves garlic, chopped
• 1 med sweet pepper, chopped
• Salt & pepper to taste
• 1 pound of macaroni
• 1 stick of butter (1/2 cup)
• 4 T flour
• 4 C warm milk
• 16 oz pckg of American Cheese slices (preferably Kraft)
• 8 oz pckg cream cheese
• 20 saltines
• 2 T butter

1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees.
2. Boil a pot of water to cook the pasta in. Add lots of salt to the water.
3. Cook the bacon til crisp. Remove from the oil and turn it into small crumbly bits.
4. Cook the pasta for about 8 minutes. I don’t like firm pasta.
5. Sauté the onion, garlic and pepper in the bacon grease til translucent.
6. While the veggies are cooking, heat the milk in the microwave.
7. Drain the veggies (to remove all the extra grease).
8. In a sauce pan, melt the stick of butter and add the flour. Cook for 2 minutes stirring constantly.
9. Add the warm milk to the flour/butter mixture, whisking constantly till it gets thick.
10. Add the cheeses, melting each one a little before more is added. I do this on medium heat so as not to burn the cheese
11. Drain the pasta.
12. Throw the pasta, the bacon crumblies, the sautéed veggies and the cheese sauce into a big pot (preferably one you’ve buttered).
13. Crumble the saltines in a microwave safe bowl and add the butter. Microwave for 20 seconds and mix. Scatter the crumbs over the top of the mac & cheese.
14. Bake for 30-35 minutes.
15. Orgasm.

Recipe from Jeffrey/guiser1

Chicken Pasta with Thyme-Mint Cream Sauce

• 1 pound pasta, such as linguine or fettucini
• 2 Tbsp olive oil
• 1 1/4 lb boneless, skinless chicken breasts or thighs, cut into 1-inch cubes
• Salt and freshly ground black pepper
• 1/2 cup of dry white wine
• 1/2 cup chicken stock


• 1 1/2 cups heavy whipping cream
• 2 Tbsp chopped fresh mint
• 1 1/2 Tbsp chopped fresh thyme
• 1 teaspoon lemon zest
• 2 teaspoons honey
• 1 teaspoon sherry vinegar or apple cider vinegar
• 1/2 teaspoon salt and more salt and freshly ground black pepper to taste

1. Heat 4 quarts of salted* water in a large pot for the pasta. As the water heats, prepare the chicken. Heat olive oil in a large skillet on medium high. Season the chicken pieces generously with salt and freshly ground black pepper. Add the chicken pieces, spreading them out initially and then not stirring them, so they have an opportunity to brown. Once lightly browned on one side, use tongs to flip the pieces over so they brown on the second side. When pieces are browned on both sides, and just cooked through, remove to a paper towel lined plate.
2. Deglaze the pan with white wine. Use a wooden spoon to scrape up the browned bits from the bottom of the pan. Add the chicken stock and let liquids reduce by half (turn up the heat if necessary). Add the cream, mint, thyme, lemon zest, honey, salt, and vinegar. Reduce the sauce by half again.
3. Once the pasta water is boiling, add the pasta and cook following directions on pasta package. When pasta is ready, drain and add to cream sauce when cream sauce has been reduced by half and is thick enough to coat a spoon. Add chicken to the pasta and sauce. Add more salt and pepper to taste.

Red Wine Beef Daube

• 4 pounds Boneless Beef Chuck or other Stew, cut into 1 inch cubes
• 1 750-ml bottle full-bodied red wine or a mixture of bottle ends
• 1 cup concentrated [1 quart simmered down to 1 cup] Broth
• 2 carrots, peeled, quartered lengthwise, cut into 1 inch sections
• 2 Onions Quartered
• Bouquet Garni [This is like.. basically a bunch of herbs tied together... I used Parsley, Thyme, Rosemary, and Bay Leaves]

1. Select a tall, narrow pot.
2. Put the beef, wine, broth, carrots, and onions in the pot, and then nestle the bouquet garni in the center. Bring to a simmer and skim off any froth.
3. Adjust the heat so the liquid is at a gentle simmer - you want a bubble or two every second - cover, and cook on the stove top or in a 325 degree oven.
4. Check every ten minutes or so and adjust the burner heat or oven tempreature as needed to maintain the gentle simmer.
5. Cook for about 2.5 hours, or until a skewer easily slides into a cube of meat.

Beer Batter Cheez-it crusted Fried Chicken

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cobie

cobie

• 1 pound chicken [breasts, I used]
• 2-3 Cups Cheez-its
• 1/4 c finely grated Parmesan cheese
• 1-2 Tbsp Parsley
• 1 Tbsp thyme
• Salt & Pepper
• 1 Egg
• 2/3 cup flour
• 3/4 cup flat beer

1. Cut up chicken into thin, even slices, and sprinkle with salt
2. In a bowl, beat egg and slowly add beer. Mix it all up, yo.
3. In a shallow bowl of some sort, mix up the flour, and some of the seasoning.
4. Crunch up the Cheez-its... Make them not too fine, but also not like whole cheez-its. Combine this in a plate with the seasoning and cheese, and mix it all up nice-nice.
5. Cover the chicken in the flour, then dip it in the batter, then coat it in the cheez-it mixture. [or, for the just beer ones, run through the flour mixture again.
6. Heat just enough oil in a large pan to cover the bottom. Allow to steam before turning heat down to medium.
7. Fry up individual breaded chicken fingers until golden, flipping as necessary.
8. When done, set aside to drain of excess oil.