Day 234/365 [Year 2]

[cptntiller]

March is apparently question month. To ask me a question, post a comment here: toddpage.livejournal.com/370916.html [Comments are screened]

All questions: Here

Question 11:As an amateur shutterbug, I've wondered, at times, if the appeal of photography is (in part) that sometimes it's easier (or more comfortable) to gaze outwards than to gaze within. Is that something that resonates at all for you?

Ah yes, the Mark complex! In this, I am referring to Mark, from RENT... to quote Roger, during Goodbye Love

"...but who Mark are you?
'Mark has got his work', they say
'Mark lives for his work
and Mark's in love with his work'
Mark Hides in his work.
...From facing your failure
Facing your loneliness
facing the fact you live a lie..
...You're always preaching not to be numb
When that's how you thrive
You pretend to create and observe
when you really detach from feeling alive..."

Okay, so that has me listening to a show I haven't in like 4 years. Whoa.

Moving right along!

I think there is certainly some appeal in that. It's certainly easier to look out and capture others lives and struggles... and at times it can certainly be a distraction and avoidance of your own. I think it'd be really interesting to see what my answer would've been, to this, before my first year of the 365 project. For those of you new to my little, crazy, world... A: Hello! B: My first year of 365's was an entire year of self portraits. Every day I got in front of the camera. This meant that on the shittiest days I took an image. I think before then, it was definetly easier for it to be simply a way to gaze outwards. I tended to do alot of street shots in my first year of actually taking pictures all the time... alot of hip shots and candids of people around me, doing there thing. I think alot of that was just noticing others and not paying attention to my own thoughts. At the same time, I feel very confident I put alot of myself into every image. I may not often use words to tell people about myself, but I think that more often than not, my images show me. And especially at times when I'm going through something difficult, there is alot of .. within-gazing in my self-portraits, and other shots. I can remember very specific weeks and time periods where the combination of pose, lighting, and lyrics in my shots, to me, explained everything I was thinking and feeling to the world. Everything inside of me. EG: Ex1, Ex2, Ex3. I mean, there are times when there is moody lighting and the like because it's a concept and lighting I liked... maybe that happens more often, and I guess I'm the only person who WOULD be able to recognize when its one or the other. Interestingly enough, alot of these are also my favorites.

I guess that says that my favorites are the ones I really go out and pursue because I have a very specific emotion that I need to get out... and I do that via my photos. Which in turn says, to me, that, at least with my self-portraits, there is often gazing within done via them. I think it's certainly easier to look outwards... but I do believe that taking the time to focus inwards and concentrate on the things is important... and I like to think I do that.

Did I answer this? Call me out on it if I somehow missed the point in my blathering on.

[self-portrait]

Comments

[i-f-f.livejournal.com]

Hmm... Larson adapting Sondheim in SUNDAY...

[toddpage.livejournal.com]

I had never seen Tick, Tick, Boom...
or heard it for that matter...

just found that song and quite enjoyed it...

[toddpage.livejournal.com]

Not unless I do a non-365 post.

Doing all the questions in B/W

Sorry.

[bobo-dreams.livejournal.com]

This is probably my favorite picture of you. If I drew a Lantern drawing of you..it'd be greed, just 'cause of this p[icture. It's so fucking beautiful.

[toddpage.livejournal.com]

Thanks man!

I appreciate it greatly!

And I totally can't wait to see the orange lantern.

STOKED.

[ruralrob.livejournal.com]

Great image - and don't we all have a drawer full of "obsolete" cameras?

[bobo-dreams.livejournal.com]

We do, indeed!

[toddpage.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

I concur. I have too many... but most of them get play occasionally!

[xjmox.livejournal.com]

i dare you to take all those photos at once!

[toddpage.livejournal.com]

Haha, self timer!

[bear-left.livejournal.com]

Funny, I was thinking precisely about Mark from RENT...

There's something remarkable and powerful about telling one's stories with images rather than words... and yet I also wonder if that the subjectivity of images allows a certain safety, where words can pin one down, can commit oneself.

[toddpage.livejournal.com]

First, RE: Your icon:


I think there is totally a point there... theres a reason I don't usually write about me, I'm secretive.

I just noticed something relevant however... when something bad happens, one of my instincts is to go shoot.