Question Month : Question 1

March is question month: Ask Your Question Here.

QUESTION: Looking back, what was the significance of doing the H2B ride to you? And what would you say to someone who wants to do the ride, but is also truly scared of making that kind of physical effort?

Oof. Good and hard question. I'm going to answer that in reverse, because the second part is easy. Do it. I had never ridden more than 15 miles on a bike before I signed up for this ride. It was mildly terrifying. I remember as I signed up thinking "This is absurd. But how amazing would it be if I could actually finish this?" I mean, when did I sign up, June? Yikes. [start training before june.]

I don't know how your approach to things like this is, mentally. I have a weird brain, I was raised on stubbornness and determination, and once I have accepted a challenge it is near impossible for me to not complete it, even if I am the one who has extended the challenge to myself. So when I officially signed up, I was going to do it. I just started riding. Is it daunting? Hells yes. But if for some reason you're not able to make it to the end, there are plenty of places to stop and catch a ride. Just way desire and determination over exhaustion. Are you willing to put in the time to make it happen?

The signifigance is surprisingly complicated. A big part of it was taking this challenge that seemed impossible to me and overcoming it. I like overcoming things that seem impossible to me.

More significantly for me it was a sort of zen reflection. I intended for this ride to be something that would push me to the edge, and that would cause me both through training and the actual day to meditate and think. I've made a lot of life progress in the past couple years. A lot of changes and adjustments - one of the biggest is the way I interact and commune with the gay community. Over a year my percentage of friends who were gay went from 2 or 3 percent to at least 50. I have become more aware of issues related to it, and more aware of myself in that context. It was about really thinking about our foundations, about the AIDS and HIV community. About helping to raise money for an amazing cause. And about thinking about how I interact with that cause as well.

The significance in all realms comes down, I suppose to overcoming. Overcoming my fears, overcoming large distances, exploring and branching out, and overcoming my preconceptions. It's weird how much more mental this ride was than physical. [okay, scratch that, maybe. The physical portion was huge.]

I'm not even sure I can explain what it meant to me. And now it means more, because I did make it. And sweet jesus did it hurt. but I will always remember crossing that line soaking wet, and my knee feeling shredded and never feeling quite so proud of myself. So giddily ecstatic and in tears. That was a terrible wonderful day. But I'm crazy enough to be signing up to do it again.

Well, that was long and rambly and I have no clue if I even scratched the surface of your question. Did I? It's pretty complicated in my head. So it's possible I completely missed the point on paper.

Addendum: P.S. for those of you who don't know H2B is Harbor to the Bay - a 125 mile bike ride from Copley Square in Boston to Provincetown. It benefits local HIV and AIDS groups / research folks.