Can't sleep.

Have some color.

Day 235/365 [Year 2]

March is apparently question month. To ask me a question, post a comment here: toddpage.livejournal.com/370916.html [comments are screened]

All questions: Here

Question 12:what drives you to photograph the world you see? I know its a form of self expression, a way to capture what you feel/think/want etc. But youre also a fairly musical person and yet you dont write 365 days of music lyrics...So simply put, why photo?

That's an interesting question. I often tie my love for music into my 365 project, by applying lyrics to photos in the text and alt-text. Usually I give a link to some form of listening when I do this, but sometimes I just leave the lyric, with no clue whether or not people will get the reference. Alot of times, they're inspired by music directly... I get the concept or mood from what I'm listening to.

But I think you mean why don't I write a song every day? Photography is my primary form of expression, and it ties in to my emotions better than anything I can or could write. I love writing, actually, but believe me, we're all thankful what I write is not poetry/lyrics. I have the last poem I wrote on LJ... but I think I'm too embarrassed of it to link to it. It's pretty awful. My personal music abilities are more of the practical nature. I can play trombone, guitar, trumpet, some piano, a little violin, and some accordion. I really want to learn the banjo. I suppose I could write a song a day, chord/rhythymwise... but I don't feel the same connection, creation-wise to writing or creating music that I do to photography.

My connection to music is absolutely huge. It affects my mood, my body language, the way I think at times... and I feel most songs, melodically, lyrically, or both, in a pretty intense way... but all of that is mostly as an audience, and not as a creator. I write as well, but Ifind when I try to write every day, I end up... not. I usually end up writing about once or twice a week, on good weeks. But I greatly enjoy the purge of writing as well. I also find I'm more reticent about sharing my writing with the world... either because it directly reveals more of me, or because I don't think it's of the right caliber.

I'm driven by what's inside me. Theres this little force that sees the way a shadow plays and wants to capture it. And then wants to capture it better. And then wants to capture it differently. A way of presenting what I'm thinking in an interpretable, but still symbolic to me, manner. Maybe others don't get the message I did in it... but I know its there. And I can remember entire days, believe it or not, by looking at that days 365, no matter how random it is - which is neat in itself. And I'm not saying every photo is a piece of art, or symbolic masterpiece. Sometimes a photo is just a photo. But I like to think there is more in there.

[Portrait]

Day 236/365 [Year 2]

March is apparently question month. To ask me a question, post a comment here: toddpage.livejournal.com/370916.html or send me a flickr mail. [Or leave it here if anomynity is not of any importance - the lj post comments are screened so that only I can see them]

All questions: Here

Question 13:Where in the US would you choose to live providing you had the choice?

Hm. I'm surprisingly open-minded about this kind of thing. For one thing, it's mostly about the people. For example, the people I have in my life here in Boston, are great... and right now, I'm really happy I'm here. I enjoy the city, and the plethora of options it supplies... schools, museums, theatre companies, performances of all shapes and sizes. I can see myself living most places happily, but I'd prefer someplace that is city-like, but has easy access to nature. If I could morph the time space continuum, and have echo lake, maine exist just outside of a city without any of the negative drawbacks that would occur, I'd be all over that. I think it'd be cool to be in DC for a while, and I'm not closed off to the idea of living closer to my sister now that she's on the west coast... though I worry about how that would affect my parents, California is pretty neat. It was one of the places I was really looking at when I first started looking at jobs [my junior year] actually.

I feel certain that no matter where I end up in the years between, I will end up back in New England, and probably Mass for my later years. I'll follow where I'm lead in life, and where my life leads me to living. It'll be an adventure, and an experience to try some different places and communities, as I've only ever lived in New England. I will probably at some point live outside of new england, depending on what happens, and that will be fun. I was, for a while, really closed off to the idea of being outside of New England... and I am really happy here right now, but watching my sister move has helped me see the adventure there-in.

[open]

Day 237/365 [Year 2]

March is apparently question month. To ask me a question, post a comment here: toddpage.livejournal.com/370916.html [comments are screened]

All questions: Here

Question 14: "Question 3: Is there an afterlife? From my personal standpoint? Yes. That's the simple answer. I believe in some continuation of being after our own limited survival on this plane." Okay thanks for answering that question. I have a question from your answer though ... the "I believe" part ... may I? My question is simple ... why? [This is a response to Question 3]

Easy. I spent hours sizing up the various systems and methods of belief, from atheism to Baptist, to Hindu, to Buddhism, and challenged what I had been tought and what and told to believe. And discarded all my beliefs for a while. After carefully considering everything, I came to realize that I believe in an Aristotelian God-Figure.

I guess that is actually how, isn't it. Why? Because. That's what faith comes down to, isn't it? I think what you're trying to get at is someting like "You don't believe in ghosts, you don't believe in magic, why do you believe in this?" Because most atheists I know line them up on the same plane. I don't believe in ghosts or magic, no. I have my faith because I think there is logic behind it. [Unmoved mover, every effect has a cause, if you follow the effects back far enough, there must be something which was an initial cause.] It's all to easy to believe in something simply because you're told to [see 95% of Providence College's population.] I'm not like that. I've challenged my thinking, and others thinking, and come to this conclusion on my own. That's why.

I don't expect anyone else to do so, and I don't preach it as such. Everyone should believe, or not believe whatever the hell they want, as long as it doesn't interfere with anyone elses right to believe or not believe in whatever the hell they want.

[open]

Day 238/365 [Year 2]

March is apparently question month. To ask me a question, post a comment here: toddpage.livejournal.com/370916.html [comments are screened]

All questions: Here

Question 15: what was a defining moment for you in photography? any particular projects you were super duper proud of?

I thought about this only briefly, and think my instinctive response is ultimately going to be the correct one, no matter how much I consider it. Working with film. The entire experience. Getting access to a darkroom was the best thing that happened to my photography, even though I look back at the first portfolio, and recognize it was really awful. I'm not horribly proud of it, with the exception of 5 or 6 shots. [link] My teacher didn't teach us much. We were kind've on our own. I didn't even learn about filters. For the most part I kinda taught myself my way around, except that I had the help of Brandon [neo999955, who walked me through alot, and taught me alot. I will always have alot of respect for his photographic [and writing] opinion. My second photo class had much much more impact, but that first class was the defining moment. Working with film changed my eye, and my approach.

Regardless. there is something about getting your hands dirty that brings it all to a much more real, much more direct level. God, I miss the dark room. Not to mention, with film there is not the ability to snap 700 shots of the same thing that comes with digital. You think more carefully, take more time. And you work hard in the dark room, because paper is fucking expensive. I still have the first film canister I cracked open. I can't even describe it. Digital work can never come close... photography becomes so much more than the initial capturing of the image.

As for projects I'm super duper proud of, that would be my project at the end of my second photo class. My second photo teacher was amazing, and gave us alot of free reign, and responsibilities. He taught, and expected alot... and while he never understood my project, he let me follow it anyway... when I presented it all-together at the end of the semester, he said he finally got it, and liked it alot. It was the first time I had thought out a full concept for a set of photos. I had really thought about an overarching vision I was persuing. It was the first time I had written a statement of my vision for a project, and had used that to guide me. I am still really really proud of this project, which you can witness here:

toddpage.livejournal.com/280414.html

I really want to get some interested artists together to split studio space and set up a dark room here. I miss film so much.

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