Day 108/365 [Year 2]

I'm angry.

I have thought it through and decided that the best word for it is anger.

I try to stay non-partisan. I haven't stated my beliefs directly. Have I made implications? Certainly. I don't like offending people. I really try to avoid it.

I wanted to avoid it. I think everyone should vote for who and what they believe in, as long as that choice is informed. If that means McCain, awesome. I support you for voting for someone, anyone in an informed manner. If that means you voted for Bob Barr, even better. You put alot of thought into it and voted against the [ridiculous] two party system we've established.

I don't care who you voted for as president. I am glad Obama won. We can agree and disagree on this till we're blue [or red] in the face. I won't argue it. Why? Because I respect your right to disagree. I think it's awesome. I'm glad he's here, and I look forward to the changes he will hopefully bring in the coming years.

Doesn't this all sound chipper? Not angry at all, you might say.

Don't let it fool you. I am extremely angry. I am angry that in a country that has come so far as to overcome racism enough to elect an African American president... And don't let any cynics fool you, It's a HUGE fucking deal that that happened, 50 years ago voting was a hard right to keep for that minority... In a country that can do that... Bigotry still, in a huge way, pervades the election.

I'm sorry. No. I'm not sorry. I am not looking forward to the people who follow this that will be disgruntled on reading this. But you know what, maybe it's good you get disgruntled. Maybe it's time you REALLY think about things.

I don't care who you are. To tell me that gay marriage should not be allowed is to me, the equivalent of slapping me in the face. You might as well call me a Faggot. Arizona and Florida, shame on you for disallowing a basic right that you had not previously allowed. California? What the fuck. You had it. And you took it away.

No. No arguing yet. Sit down and listen. And listen hard. How would you like it if you, and the person you loved had finally achieved equality in marriage. You had the papers. You were finally legally entitled to the same rights, privileges, and titles that other people get to take for granted. And now... the question of the validity of that union you had already been granted was being called into question.

That makes 30 states that have banned gay marriage. I can't even talk rationally about it. It makes me so angry I come close to tears. Close to very actual tears.

And in Arkansas? In FUCKING Arkansas it is now illegal for gay couples [and straight, unwed couples] to adopt. What the fuck.

This isn't even politics for me. This is basic rights.

You know what I don't want to hear? I DON'T want to hear about how it's against your religion. I don't give a fuck. I appreciate your right to believe I'm innately evil and going to hell and whatever the hell you want to believe but I'm PRETTY damn sure your savior preached love and respect. And even more so I'm pretty sure we live in a country that established a difference between church and state. We're not asking you to let us marry in your church. We want the government to recognize us as equals and give us the same rights as such. If you don't want a gay marriage. Please, don't get one. It's as simple as that. This has nothing to do with your religion. This has to do with equality and our government. To vote against this makes you a bigot in my eyes. This doesn't mean I'll treat you any differently, because I'm not like that. But I'd be lying if I didn't say I see it that way. Hell I wish I didn't see it that way. And I wish I wasn't so damned angry.

I DON'T want to hear that civil unions are separate but equal. Do you hear yourself? REALLY hear yourself? Do you know what equality is? It's equality without any need for separations. To say that separate but equal is possible is, to me, the equivalent of saying "Well, in the 50s African American's had restaurants they could go to! Sure they couldn't go to the same restaurant as the whites, but they both had food!" There IS no separate but equal. There is equal and there is separation.

[I keep having to stop this to breathe.]

I DON'T want to hear that it undermines the value of marriage. You want to know what undermines the value of marriage? The extremely high divorce rate. Hell, having a location where you can show up plastered and get married in just a few minutes. For that matter, having a place where you can show up sober and in a matter of minutes make what is supposed to be a lasting life decision. I DON'T, in the same line, want to hear that it will lead to an anything goes policy. If I had a nickel for every time someone said "Next sons will be marrying their fathers!" I'd be rich. You KNOW that would never happen and I'm quite sure of it. Do they allow daughters and fathers to get married now? NO. Do they allow farmers and their goats to get married now? NO. Believe me... allowing gays to marry is not going to change that. And By the way, by comparing the two? You ARE Insulting us.

The fact that it has been established in the past that marriage is between a man and a woman is irrelevant to me. I'm pretty sure it was established in the past in this country that women did not vote or hold jobs. Guess what people. THINGS CHANGE. And when they change in a way that promotes equality and freedom, it's a good thing. To not change something because tradition has established it to be one way is absurd.

I DON'T want to hear that one of the problems is that it will require schools to teach that marriage is between a person and a person. This is a good thing. This is teaching equality, and raising children with open mind. THIS IS ACTUALLY A REASON LISTED ON THE YES ON PROP 8 WEBSITE. In plain sight! How can you possibly respect yourself, teaching hate and inequality so openly and casually.

I DO NOT. I repeat, do NOT want to hear that this is "not an attack on the gay 'lifestyle'" It is. It treats us differently and makes us in a different class, a lesser class. It is an attack. And I take it that way. I take it personally. In California, people voted to protect animals [which is fucking awesome, by the way] But not to protect the rights of people. What kind of message is behind this. I also don't want to hear the term lifestyle. LIFESTYLE is a word that implies a choice of a way someone lives their life. If you think I chose to be gay, think again. I fought this for years before coming to terms with it. Why would I choose to be exiled and hated by people who don't even know me simply because of my orientation. Fuck that. It's not a lifestyle, and to vote against it is an attack. An attack on equality rights.

I ESPECIALLY don't want to hear that a family unit must consist of a mother and father. This is insulting far beyond gay rights. Would you say that a single parent raising their kids cannot do as good a job as a couple? NO. You would not. And if you would... how dare you? My friends raised by single parents happen to be just as qualified and balanced as me. I know several same-sex couples with children. And their children are polite, well adjusted, and happy. They are even open-minded and balanced! WHODATHUNK.

Maybe I'm crazy, maybe I should be happy with how far gay rights have come in the past 40 years or so. But I don't think so. I have no interest in SETTLING. I'm not going to say "Well, we've come a long way! I'll TAKE IT!"

Hells fucking no. I know there are bigger issues out there. Cancer. Aids. War. I'm not losing perspective. Hell. I don't even live in California. Thank God, in my state, they still allow gay marriage. 1 of 2 states that don't support discrimination in their constitution. I'm through with politely sitting quietly and pretending it doesn't bother me. It does. It bothers me a lot.

I don't understand how someone can look me in the face, consider themselves my friends, and tell me they will not support gay marriage. And then expect it to not bother me. You might as well say “I don't think you're quite worth having the same rights I do.”

So I'm angry. I'm not willing to stop being angry about this until it's recognized for the bigoted discrimination it is. I? I will fight. Whatever that means. Whoever that means. And I will do so until equality is realized.

Whos with me?

Summed up pretty damn well here. [thanks e_ticket]
Permission [Thanks .Jenna]
NOW ACT [thanks boyshapedbox]


[self-portrait]