Life without a lenscap

So today, in the shower, I was singing along with this song [Empire State of Mind by Jay-Z]:

Because I love Jay-Z, and let's face it, I'm mad gangsta.

Stop laughing.

Anyway! I noticed that the way Alicia Keys sings New York, it's the same number of syllables as Page Hardware, the store owned by my family where I spent 12 years of my life working. And I decided there needed to be a parody. So I have done my best to piece together the lyrics. I'm going to be tagging people in this who used to work there on facebook to get their input on it and some suggestions, and also seeing if any of them want to sing the chorus, 'cause hells yes I'm recording this.

Anyway, it amused me, and even though you probably dislike the song, and most of you don't know Page Hardware, I figured it might amuse you as much as it did me.

Enjoy or something!


Yeah
Yeah we're up in Guilford
In the center of the green
At the hub of hardware: that's right 9 Boston Street
We're better than Home Depot, don't even mention Lowe's
If you need a house supply, we're the name everyone knows

Used to work the registers, now I'm on the back dock
Pricing, cleaning, building wagons, organizing over-stock
If you need some mixed paint, try the aisle in the rear
gloss, flat, satin name your color we can make it here

So you need a key made, cutting keys is what we do
Usually it's SC-1 but this time it's KW-2
Don't forget appliances, they can help you upstairs
They're the ones with clothing that come closest to formal wear

If you need to check out holla back to ray and pat
barcode slinging singing do you need a receipt with that
Customers be greeted with "How Can I Help You?"
Tell by my attitude that I most definetly work at

Chorus:
Page Hardware
Concrete, Sakrete, and we've got rock salt
We're all here to help you
You're in Page Hardware
If we're out just hold on for one sec
We'll write you a rain check
'Cause you're at Page Hardware, Hardware, Hardware

If it's summer time and you need you a wiffle bat
Fear not it's here maybe you need a kite to go with that
we've got your housewares, kitchen-aid or cuisinart
and the staff on hand can help you to tell the two apart

If you get a weber grill, we'll do free assembly
and most likely it's a contest so it'll be done quickly
If you can't afford it now, just wait for the scratch-and-dent
but get there early 'cause the line stretches around the tent

Maybe what you need's rare, but trust me we've heard of that
and if we haven't then it's certain Roger Tucker has
Hell you need a sign, we'll get it special made
Thanks to mister C-Bass we have all been trained

three bolts, number six closed thread flat head
yeah we've got that, and just in case we've got it pan head
Every kind of drill bit, a hammer with the nails to hit
any thing you want you can find it at your corner stop that's

CHORUS

Lights and outlets, copper pipe kits
if you go outside you'll find trash cans and trash lids
liners and brushes, rollers mixers sponges
profesional and pocket knives - things to kill off rodents

caught up in the rope aisle, cut your chains and wires
but nylons gotta be burned, s'all good we can do that
duct tape and pens we can cut glass on a whim
door mats, broom racks the store's filled with them

turtle wax pre-car trip, 6 outlet power strip
and for saving snacks a potato bag chip clip
All the gadgets you could ever really need for your kitchen
if we can't fix it now I bet a special order can

Buy an appliance we'll service it for it's whole life
And we'll deliver it, switch the door, save you pain and strife
Yes we're the little guy, but we got true values
and wal-mart ain't got one-half the heart that we do.

CHORUS

Spatula in the air while we sing this ditty
store fronts arranged so we're lookin' pretty
No store in the world that can compare
Put your gadgets in the aiiiirrr
everybody say yeeaaahhhhh

CHORUS