5.14.11

Jun. 22nd, 2011 02:55 pm
cptntiller: (EAT?)
Four-Berry Rhubarb Pie for my birthday made by my dad


So, today we all got up and sat on the porch for a few hours nursing warm drinks and orange juice before getting our act together and walking to Johnny D's for a most bodacious brunch. Stopped by the comic store, too, then headed home and chilled out for a bit. I hopped in the car soon after and made my way to Rhody, where my parents have a house, and we had our family celebration. My dad made steak and FOUR-BERRY RHUBARB PIE! It was amazing, and as I'm weird and don't like cake or brownies or the like, it was perfect. Then we played Uno, which I love, and closed the night out with a viewing of the classic "Follow Me Boys" which none of you will know. I've gotten used to that.

Dad on my birthday, playing Uno

Mom on my birthday, playing Uno

Artichoke for my birthday! made by my dad

Steak for my birthday made by my dad

4.8.11

Apr. 9th, 2011 04:49 pm
cptntiller: (365)
NIT


Today was an exasperating day at work, followed by some really important conversation. After which I decided it was time to get Mexican and a margarita - I felt like eating out, it seemed like a good response to the day. My friend Justin joined me at Rudy's, my favorite local Mexican place. [introduced to me by the ever-knowledgable [livejournal.com profile] bix02138] Around this, video games, T.V. and taking care of le sick roommate.

Standpipe

My Libation
and a few more. )
cptntiller: (Earl Mutts)
Europe photos will come, I promise, but I need to edit in order of taken-ness, or else I won't edit all of my photos.

These are from the weekend before I left when I went up to see Mikey before departing for Europe - we took a visit to Howe Caverns and, I must say, it was pretty goddamn beautiful - a great way to spend an afternoon.

Mikey around the corner

Howe Caverns

Howe Caverns

care to explore some moar? )
cptntiller: (Solemn)
41 Graves Avenue with Self-Portrait


A year.

March 2010
Yashica MAT-124
Fujichrome Velvia50
cptntiller: (Default)
Mikeybear at Chateau-Larson

January 2011

Canon FT QL
Canon FL 50mm 1:1.4
Kodak Gold 200
cptntiller: (THP - New Default)
Elyse and Rob


My friend from college Elyse and her fiance recently got engaged. [and actually married. But the reception is next year]

Anywho, they asked me to do their engagement shoot. I'm VERY happy with how they came out. Here are a few!

You can see them bigger at flickr, if you like. click on through.

the rest are all here: http://toddhpage.com/lightroom/elyseandrob/

Elyse and Rob

Elyse and Rob

7 More. )
cptntiller: (tbone)

It gets better... because we make it better.

<3 RudeMo's
cptntiller: (DUG)
38 days of LJ Meme : Day 6 – Your definition of love, in great detail


Wow.

So, yesterdays was about FOOD. Todays is about love?

Heavy change.

UMMMMM.

So.

Love....

Love is squishy.

Love is all warm and toasty and you feel it in your upper chest sometimes and it's just like you had a shot of good whiskey, or I guess hot chocolate, but lets be honest: good whiskey. And you feel warm and glowy, and just right. And the warmth spreads a little and you can feel it in your cheeks sometimes, but mostly it rests inside and makes you feel wonderful.

It's um.

I mean. Love is... fuck this is hard.

Love is... wanting, deep inside, to ensure to the greatest of your abilities, that the object of said love is as happy as humanly possible. Love is rarely careful.

Love is not a delicate ballet, it's a full-out "It's 3 A.M. and I'm blasting this music and dancing in the living room in my socks because goddamn it, it's awesome, this song is great, and I'm having a friggin blast."

Love is not needing to win every argument. It's ice cream after midnight.

I guess at it's most basic it's just a hellofalot of caring.

Love hurts sometimes, but it's usually in that "Damn, I had an awesome time making this hurt." kind've way. Except you don't notice 'til after it stops hurting so much.

Love is frigging awesome. It's ... Love is great. Let's all do it. 'Kay?

Okay, Todd out. This is too difficult for me to try and elaborate more.

Whatever, that wasn't great detail. But it was SOME detail. You're over it.

[Full list of questions]
cptntiller: (Vivol!)
38 days of LJ Meme : Day 2 – Your first love, in great detail


Great detail, eh? Ugh. This is already really hard.

Well, dear readers. Do you realize, that in just under 6 years of livejournal usage, spreading the gamut from 3-times-a-day bleed your heart out angsty 18 year old entries to nothing but photos, I have never once actually, directly talked about a relationship? There have been implications via general happiness and photos, but never an actual direct reference to a beau, boyfriend, or a tale of dating. I mean. Those who weren't stupid figured it out, but still. I never actually talked about it here.

I know at least one person noticed that. [livejournal.com profile] bobo_dreams actually pointed it out once.

Much like Liz before me, I know my first love would not want to be called out here. So for the purposes of this entry, lets call him Alec Baldwin.

I met my first love via this website, actually. We have some mutual friends. He found me, we began interacting in October or November of my junior year of college. We started talking via email and then yahoo messenger. I found out he worked in the city I went to school in, and as we talked more and more, I found myself falling more and more. It drove me crazy. I was 20 at the time, and the age difference was substantial - he was more than twice my age. I was a very unexperienced person at this point in my life. I had come out just one year prior; I had had but one kiss, and certainly had never been on a date. Alec was/is a charming, handsome man with a very kind and sensitive heart, inside a rugged, manly world. He was understanding and patient, and we connected on a variety of levels. I wasn't sure how to handle being attracted to someone so much older and I was still not entirely comfortable with the fact that I was attracted to men in general, really. I was, really, too scared to actually meet this person. I wasn't sure what I wanted, and I was even shyer than I am now, and ... well. Yeah.

I had a nice streak of emo angst over it. And then finally, on February 16th, 2007, after fretting my way around an email until 3:32 AM, I finally got the gall up and pressed send.

Heylo Alec-
this here's Todd (duh), and I'm writing to say that today (it's officially friday) I'm free between 10:20 and 1:30 if you want to meet up for coffee/lunch or somefing. I'm kind'f springing this at the last moment... and you have work, so I'm expecting the answer will be a no for today... but let it be known that my pluck is officially greater than 0. Hope that you have a good morning time period, as I'm fairly sure thats when this will reach you. I meant to bring it up tonight, but I forgot. Lemme know what the verdict is via email or the power of the cell: XXX-XXX-XXXX (if I don't answer I'm in class)

Hugs
-Todd


He replied. We didn't end up getting lunch or lunchtime coffee, but I was free in the late afternoon, and he was too. I made my way to his office, more nervous than I could possibly explain. I still feel nervous just remembering it.

I tapped the car in front of mine parking. I parked illegally and got a ticket, actually. Too nervous to pay attention. I was shaking as I got out of the car, wandered to the door to his building, and when I got there, he came to find me in the hallway. He was exactly as cute as any pictures I had seen. And his personality was everything in person it had been in our emails and chats. He offered me coffee. I don't even know if I accepted. And we went to his office. It was big, I sat on the couch, he sat in a comfy chair. And we just talked. It was wonderful and I spent the entire time nervously flipping out in my head, trying not to blush or embarass myself. When the time came to leave it had been many hours, and we had a long hug.

This was a friday. The weekend came. The weekend passed. I went skiing. I thought about every word. I. Was. Hooked. I got a note on monday afternoon asking if I wanted to get dinner that night. I did. I definetly did.

We met in the parking lot of the nearby Chili's. We sat, ate, and talked about this and that. He handed me the crayon in the above photo, pointing out that it was my favorite color and a color of power. I was in awe of this man in front of me who was wonderful, thoughtful, funny.

Dinner ended. We walked to my car. I went for a hug, and somehow had a kiss. My mind was blown. THIS was what a kiss should feel like. [zomg I'm totally blushing at my desk just writing this.]

Within a few weeks, I had traveled to his home and spent the day. I quickly realized the age difference did not in the slightest bother me. Happiness outweighed it, and my friends were all just happy that I was happy. They didn't care about the age. I had the majority of my firsts, a wide world opened up. I told him I loved him. He returned it. We cried. There was great happiness. Things grew, bonds were created. I was head over heels. It was wonderful. Which, really, is how it should have been. We spent our time making at least one night a week together. Some times at his house, some times in Providence.

We were together until my first fall in Boston. [Note the period of EXTREMELY negative 365 self-portraits around that time.]

I don't want to get into the break-up part. It was dragged out a bit longer than it should have been. It got nasty. Let's just say there was a difference of opinion on whether or not the age difference would be/was a problem. I eventually called him and told him I couldn't see him anymore. We were both broken by it. I have seen him once since, but it was way too soon. We've resumed phone contact, which is nice. I hope to be able to hang out with him at some point, I'm trying to make sure time is taken so no one gets hurt by it.

[Full list of questions]

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